The Trouble with Dundee

I have a problem every time I go back to Dundee. Last time I talked to a couple of other “Auld Dundonians” and we all seem to suffer from the same problem, which is that it takes hours to walk down a street in Dundee.

Take my last trip, for example. I had intended to walk from Debenhams to the Reform Street in the comfort of the Overgate. Half a dozen steps into the “journey” I was stopped by a lad I had not seen for twenty years. As this event was repeated about a dozen times on the “journey” I will abbreviate the conversations.

“Good God wha’s this” he said “Jesus Gerry ye’ve been fair enjoyin yer mince” a reference to the fact that, yes, I have added a few pounds. The conversation proceeds “did you no gay oot we yon Mary, Jane, Lynda, Elsie, Big Mary, Jennifer, Liz, Myra, Frances, Helen, Linda, Pattie, Bev, etc, etc, etc”

“Ye were at the “Johnies” wir ye no?” “Wiz Ged, Boab, Tam, Dug, Jim, Willie, John, no in yer class?” “Did ye no drink in ra Bothy, Invercarse, Tavern, Cellar, Tay Brig, Jimmy Ross’s?

This goes on for about half an hour. Then you take about fifty steps forward and the process repeats itself when you meet - Ged, Boab, Tam, Dug, Jim, Willie or John. Two hours later you bump into Mary, Jane, Lynda, Elsie, Big Mary, Jennifer, Liz, Myra, Frances, Helen, Linda, Pattie, Bev, etc, etc, etc, out with the grandchildren.

“I dinna believe it” “Efter a them years, mind ye’ve pit on a few pounds” I’m thinking just the same. It goes like this;

“Whar de ye bide now? Did ye git married to yon Jane, Lynda, Elsie, Big Mary, Jennifer, Liz, Myra, Frances, Helen, Linda, Pattie, Bev, etc, etc, etc?” “God it’s a lang time since ye us’t ta tak me to ra Bothy, Invercarse, Tavern, Cellar, Tay Brig, Jimmy Ross’s” “but mind ye drapped me fir yon Mary, Jane, Lynda, Elsie, Big Mary, Jennifer, Liz, Myra, Frances, Helen, Linda, Pattie, Bev, etc, etc, etc”. I dinna ken whit ye ever saw in her!!! I then tell them that I married someone that I met in London, but that we are seperated now and I live in Dublin with my 6' 3" tall 14 year old son, and, that no, I dont have a "bidie-in"

When I tell all of them I am back doing research for a book about the Creechan family the say “tak te Ged, Boab, Tam, Dug, Jim, Willie, John, Mary, Jane, Lynda, Elsie, Big Mary, Jennifer, Liz, Myra, Frances, Helen, Linda, Pattie, Bev, etc coz their Dad, Brother, Sister, Cousin knew yer Dad, Auntie Rose Ann, Jo, Mary.” “an they’ll tell ye loads o stuff”

This is why it takes about four hours to get from the top of a street in Dundee to the bottom. Ye can take the man out of Dundee but ye canny take Dundee out of the man, and thank God for that.

A Guid New Year to all that I missed.

Gerry Creechan

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(back in mid January)